"Inspirational sayings" vol. 1

1. Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much.

2. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
3. When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

4. I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
5. I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

6. Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.
7. Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, then kill them.

8. I poured Spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.
9. Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.

10. Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.